November 23


Don’t blame anyone but yourself when you don’t hit your goal (Growth Mindset Hacks Series)

By Harry Heijligers

November 23, 2017

Growth Mindset

This article is one in a series of Growth Mindset Hacks. Today the fourth growth mindset hack: Don’t blame anyone but yourself when you don’t hit your goal.

As said in this article, having a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset, has numerous benefits for you. And the good news is that you too can develop a growth mindset. Read on, for today's growth mindset hack:


If you set goals, you expect results, of course. But what do you do, when your results are disappointing? Do you course correct? Or do you start complaining or even blaming others for the bad results you got? Often people with a procrastination mindset do the latter. They are too focused on the results of a project. They stand, for example, every day on the scale to see if they already have lost their two pounds. That’s not only frustrating, but this also brings danger to the chance of actually realizing that goal.

Blaming others for anything that goes wrong in your life, is what seems almost like the norm. Everyone does it. But that doesn’t mean that you should do it too. The reason is that it won’t help you in any way and it will not do you any good.

In the movie Legally Blonde 2, Reese Witherspoon as the character Elle Woods gives a speech for the members of the Congress, and she uses the metaphor of getting a really bad haircut in a chic hair salon in Beverly Hills. After realizing that the haircut had gone totally wrong, she was angry. But soon, she realized that her anger was completely misdirected. It still was the salon’s fault, of course, to give her a bad haircut, but she had also sat there and witnessed this to happen to her. But she wasn’t involved in the process. She forgot to speak up! So, instead of blaming the hair salon, she actually had to blame herself!

Don’t act like if you are the victim because you are not. Don’t blame others because that brings you nowhere.

If you blame someone else or complain about a situation, then you don’t take accountability for your situation. Instead, you make someone else accountable for your situation. In reality, you can’t make anyone else responsible for your life other than yourself. So, if you choose to make someone else responsible anyway, you are misleading yourself and withholding yourself from going on. This will keep you stuck. Instead of moving on, you procrastinate. To get unstuck, the first step is to stop blaming others and start giving yourself the highest accountability about yourself, as Elle Woods did. So, if you don’t get the results you want or expect, ask yourself what you have done so far to get the results you got now. Then ask yourself what you can do to change your behavior to get other results.
Another problem with blaming is that it negatively programs your mental filters. This means that instead of seeing opportunities, you will focus more and more on problems and failures caused by others. This will move you further and further away from the real issue you have to work on, which is getting yourself together and starting to work on your projects.

As soon as you start blaming others, complaining, and whining, you have the perfect excuse to do nothing and to procrastinate. That’s not what you want, of course. Why else would you read this book? So, stop with it. Become aware of every time you are seeking excuses, complaining, or blaming others. And as soon as you hear yourself doing it, ask yourself, “Okay, but what could I have done differently? What is my role in this?”


Realize that complaining about a situation or blaming others is just an excuse to procrastinate. Stop it! Instead, ask yourself what you could do differently to get better results and course correct.

And until you begin to see the change in your life, let me know in the comment box below, what is your view on this Growth Mindset Hack, and I'll try to support you with that.

And until we meet …

Live fully, be awesome,

Harry Heijligers

P.S. Please take a moment to share this article. Everyone should have the chance to change his mindset for the better, don’t you think?

Thank you!

Harry Heijligers

About the author

Harry Heijligers has more than 25 years of experience as a Project Manager and more than 17 years of experience as an NLP Trainer. He has a Dutch blog about NLP here:
If you'd like to know about the Smart Leadership Hut, please check this: Smart Leadership Hut.

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